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Archive for February 16th, 2011

My Mind Over My Matter

It looks like I underestimated how much school work I’m stuck with, so I think that this week will consist of a balance of getting it done and making time to prepare for the changes that I’m making soon. Crazy Sexy Diet includes a 21 day cleanse in the book that is designed to guide me through any symptoms I might feel as a result of cutting out sugar, gluten, and animal products. The cleanse can also ease me into a regular meditation, exercise, and sleep schedule. I think I definitely need to follow what Kris Carr laid out otherwise I might not be able to stick with the changes.

I’ve been having some trouble focusing on my schoolwork because I can feel my mind struggling to come to terms with the fact that I’m going to be working hard and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I haven’t gone full swing into the healing lifestyle CSD can offer me, but I’m definitely thinking about it and incorporating a lot of things into my life right now. I think my biggest problem is that I have been letting my mind control me. My mind chooses to remember all of the negative things that have happened to me, and it doesn’t like to acknowledge hope or success. It’s always going back to the negative memories, to times when I wasn’t successful and I struggled to meet my goals. It doesn’t want me to believe that I can heal, and it fights that positive thought with reminders that I get depressed when I run out of solutions, that my skin has changed, my hair is recovering too slowly, etc. It wants me to believe that no amount of self-care, studying for my future, and entertaining my passions of reading, writing, and music will help me strengthen myself against depression.

I realized this in the past few days, and I knew I had to take control of the negative whirlwind in my head. If I’m going to be able to keep up with a healing lifestyle, I need to able to let those thoughts come and go without letting them affect what I’m doing. I don’t think that I can get rid of them entirely, and as a result, I set up a meditation space, watched some Deepak Chopra videos, and started meditating and journaling a lot more in the past few days. Hopefully that will help.

And for the sake of letting my mind know even further that I’m not letting it take over me anymore,

I’d like to post a picture of my lovely dinner =). That would be a salad of greens with avocado-cumin dressing, steamed sweet potatoes with olive oil and salt, brown rice, and a serving of daal (Indian style lentils).

and, and…

Not one, but TWO pictures of me, working it for the camera, no makeup, acne, frazzled hair (with the exception of using flash, which is doing me a great service here IMO) and all. These are the first pictures that I’ve taken of me in a long, long time…so there, universe. I’m sending out the message. I’m scoping out my situation and getting ready to face my fears.

Oh lord…did I mention exploring religion is in my future plans?

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